


Snakes on the Stage

by Lieutenant_Lionheart95



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Alternate Universe, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Inspired by Music, Living Together, M/M, POV First Person, Slight Cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24130918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lieutenant_Lionheart95/pseuds/Lieutenant_Lionheart95
Summary: Six ordinary guys are living together. What could go wrong?Well, as it turns out, there are a lot of things that could go wrong..
Relationships: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers/Till Lindemann/Christian Lorenz/Oliver Riedel/Christoph Schneider
Kudos: 23





	1. Looking for a roommate

"Hello. I'm looking for a roommate. Possibly multiple, actually. I'm a single guy and I live alone in a huge apartment. The apartment itself is nice, but even though I'm a bit maverick, I still like at least some company. Every roommate will have their own bedroom, but the kitchen, bathroom and stuff like that are shared. And when I say that this apartment is huge, I mean it, here's like five other bedrooms alongside with my own. So basically six people could live in here. Please remember that all of us will pay their own part of the bills. You can also bring your own furniture if you want to, but the rooms have all the basic stuff that's necessary. Though if there are more than two roommates, I think we need to make some kind of arrangement with stuff like who buys the groceries and cooks and whose turn is to use the shower. You know, simple stuff like that. Personally I have only couple of demands regarding the roommates. Also these are not in any particular order. I like animals, but if even one of the others are allergic, we really need to negotiate about the pets. Secondly, like I mentioned at the start, I'm a single guy and I have nothing against pretty ladies, but if any of you have girlfriends or even just some random hook-ups, please, at least try to warn beforehand before you bring any ladies to the apartment. In addition, I don't appreciate drug use, but I do occasionally drink and smoke some cigars, so if you like to use alcohol, or smoke for that matter, I don't mind, as long as it's not anything illegal, or that you don't fuck up my place while being too drunk, otherwise I will kick you out. I guess that's the most important stuff to know. Serious replies only, please. Oh, and one more thing, if I'm not able to answer immediately for one reason or another, you are free to leave a voice message and I will call you back later. Here's my number, I can answer almost any time of the day, just ask Till."

It has been a week already. Fuck. I really needed that roommate, at least to split the bills with me. The apartment is nice, but so expensive that I don't want to stay there all alone. Maybe it was because of the expensiveness that nobody wanted to take my offer. I was thinking about it for a moment, until finally the phone actually did rang. As long as it wouldn't be any telemarketing guy..  
"Hello?", I answered.  
"This is Till, the guy who was looking for a roommate, correct?", a man answered back.  
The voice was smooth and almost businesslike, it sounded a little bit higher than my own voice.  
"Yes, who I am speaking to?", I asked.  
"My name is Christian. Are you still looking for that roommate?", he answered with an another question after he had introduced himself.  
"Yes, you are actually the first who has even called. I was almost worried already that the apartment is so expensive that nobody doesn't want to even ask.."  
"I'm in the middle of moving out from my last apartment. So I kind of need a new place around this evening. Is that possible? I could come to see the place first if it's okay, I do have a couple of hours to use while getting my things together.. I was thinking about calling earlier, but I wasn't completely sure yet how the things would go and.."  
"Of course you can come to check the place out, I'll give you the address.."  
We talked for a few more minutes, mostly when he was supposed to come around since he still did have to pack his stuff at his old apartment. I didn't need to wait for too long until I heard the doorbell ring.  
"I'm coming, just a moment!", I shouted, went to the door and opened it. There stood this tall and slender, quite meek looking guy with glasses and short dark hair that was sleeked back a bit.  
"Christian?", I asked and offered my hand to shake his. He nodded and shook my hand. Then he noticed that I was leaning against a walking cane and raised his brow a bit.  
"This thing? It's just a temporary solution at the moment, I fucked up my knee and can't exactly walk without something I can lean against", I shrugged.  
"That's very unfortunate to hear, but I'm actually a doctor, or a doctor student if we are completely correct, is there something I could do?", he asked immediately and looked me over his glasses.  
"Well, if you are not obliged to prescribe any medicines, I don't think so.. I'll survive though, I got a leg brace to help to keep my knee in this specific position so it wouldn't hurt too much when I do walk. I just gotta move slowly so it won't get fucked up even more.. Come on in, you wanted to check out the place", I nodded then and he got inside.  
"This sure is a nice apartment..", he admitted and looked around a bit.  
"So, you mentioned you are a doctor student?", I asked, of course I was a bit curious about what kind of guy my possible roommate would be. I had to sit down since my knee was starting to act up again. He nodded and adjusted his glasses a little bit.  
"I had two possibilities to choose from, either a doctor or a clergyman. Both of them need a lot of studying first, obviously, but even though I think there could be some higher power out there, I'm not too religious, also I guess that girls could like a doctor a bit better than a clergyman", he shrugged and laughed a bit.  
"That does make some sense..", I nodded and adjusted my leg brace a bit so I could sit as comfortably as possible.  
"May I ask what exactly "fucked up your knee", like you expressed it? That's some serious looking brace you got there", he asked in turn when I had to lift my pant leg to make the adjustments I needed.  
"It's an old sports injury I got when I was kid. I was a swimmer. Well, technically I can still swim, when the knee is not acting up like it is doing now. The peak of the irony is that swimming is actually helping me with it. Though now it aches too much that I could swim", I explained.  
"Have you considered having a surgery done on it?", Christian asked.  
"I did consider it one time.. But my doctor said that it's mostly a muscle trauma of some kind, a surgery could just make it even harder to walk. And I really don't want to end up to lose my ability to swim", I just shrugged. We talked for a while. Christian mentioned that he was more accustomed to hear his nickname, Flake. It was just fine with me.  
"Well, since you are the first here, if you want to stay, you have the privilege to choose what room you want", I said. Flake nodded and went through the five possible bedrooms one more time to choose what was his favorite. Every room of course had all of the necessary furnitures already.  
"Just one question, Till. Do you snore, and if you do, how loudly?", he shouted, since I didn't get up from the couch yet.  
"That was technically two questions, but I guess I snore a bit occasionally.. Why did you ask?", I wondered.  
"Just checking, so I could pick the room furthest from yours when I still have a chance", he laughed a bit. I grinned too when he said it.  
"I would help you with your stuff, but I don't think I'm able to lift anything with this damn knee..", I continued.  
"Don't worry, I got it. I don't have too much stuff anyway. Just a few boxes of books and like that. I have a small storage room where my bigger stuff is, I can start with the basics the room has already. Maybe we can get something from there when your knee is better, or if we get another roommate before it, maybe they could help too", he explained simply. That sounded like a plan to me.  
After that Flake left for a little while to gather up his things he would need to move in.  
"You know, Till, I'm kind of suspicious person, so I'll ask a lot of questions. You are not some crazy murderer type, right?", Flake asked later in the evening, when he was arranging his stuff in his room.  
"Why would you ask something like that?", I just laughed a bit and lifted my brow.  
"Well, I tend to pay attention to the smallest details. I'm sure you have heard about these American serial killers, like Ted Bundy and Rodney Alcala?", he asked while putting his books on to the shelves.  
I walked a bit closer to his door, my leg brace and walking cane did this small, almost silent "click-click"-kind of sound when I walked, and glanced at the names of his books.  
"The names does kind of ring a bell, yes.. Something about killing multiple women, right?", I asked and he nodded.  
"Key thing being that both of them were described to be ruggedly handsome and for some reason at least those American women seem to like guys that look like that. And you know, Bundy was told to say that his arm was broken or something like that to get the women to come close to his car so he could kidnap them. I was just thinking, since basically you could use that leg brace of yours with a same kind of excuse, that you can't walk too well to get the unsuspicious victims closer to you", Flake shrugged. He really liked to read his stuff, I had to give him that, since he had so much books about every possible subcategory I could think of. It was actually kind of cool to see that he had so much stuff from outside of Germany, I don't think it was too easy to get books from other countries though the Berlin Wall wasn't anymore up to separate us from the other parts of the world so easily than it used to be.  
"That's not a bad conclusion, I gotta give you that! But if you want, I can show you the bills I got from the doctor and the pharmacy!", I just laughed.  
"Do you read? As you can see, I read a lot, and I like to talk about it", he laughed too.  
"I do read a bit, I'm more of a writer type, I follow in my father's footsteps, may God rest his soul", I shrugged.  
"I did warn you that I ask a lot of questions, so can I ask what do you write?", Flake continued and glanced at me over his glasses again.  
"Poetry, mostly, I have tried to write longer stories too but that doesn't work so well with me, or I just haven't got that perfect inspiration yet for an actual story", I added.  
"That sounds cool", he nodded neutrally. While we were talking, the phone started to ring.  
"Excuse me for a moment, Flake, I gotta take that..", I said and went to answer the phone, it could be another possible roommate after all, I did said in the ad that I'm free to answer almost any time of the day.


	2. Water and Brimstone

My hunch was correct again. And just like Flake, this new guy wanted to come and check the place out, if it was okay since it was quite late already. It was okay to both of us, so I gave him the address and he said he would be here soon.  
Flake and I were both kind of quiet guys too, so we just sat in the living room, he was reading one of his books and I was trying to write my new poem. Then the doorbell rang. I grabbed my cane and went to the door. When I opened it, there was this short guy with a wide grin.  
"Hi. Name is Paul. You must be Till, right?", he asked and shook my hand.  
"Uh huh. Please, come on in", I nodded.  
"I can't stay for too long, I gotta go to work.. But I can already see that your ad was right, this sure is a nice place..", Paul nodded and walked in. Flake put his book away and got up from the armchair he was sitting and Paul shook his hand too.  
"Can I, like, make a reservation for a room or something? You know, I'm not in the immadiate need of a new place, but there is a small chance I might need one, so..", Paul asked.  
"Four of the rooms are still free, so to me that's fine", I nodded.  
"It's fine with me too", Flake added. Paul grinned widely. I was sure he was one of those guys that could lit up the whole room with just his grin.  
"May I ask what do you do since you said you have to go to work after this?", Flake asked and adjusted his glasses a bit as he sat back down to continue his reading.  
"I'm a firefighter. Well, usually I'm at that shift that waits at the station, but it's still important and I have to be there in case one of the other guys isn't there for one reason or another", he shrugged.  
"Well, we won't keep you any longer, I guess we will see you later", I said when I noticed that he was already glancing at the clock.  
"Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow!", Paul nodded, cursed how he almost was late already and left. Flake and I just glanced at each other. This could actually get at least interesting sooner or later. 

And so, Paul dropped by again later the next day. This time I was alone at home, Flake was at his own work by that time. I wasn't completely sure what kind of stuff doctor students exactly did, but he had mentioned that sometimes it could go until the late evening that he would be back home. And just like Flake had done, now that he had more time in his hands, Paul looked around a bit more and got a chance to choose his room.  
"You mentioned last night that you are usually at the station. Have you been on a actual call for a house fire or something?", I asked.  
"Oh, I haven't been on a house fire call, at least not yet, but there was this one time we were called to save a suicidal person. I have to say, that made my heart beat a lot faster than it's healthy. You know, it was my first big job after graduating", Paul explained as we sat in the living room and drank coffee.  
"I might have a bit morbid sense of humor, but that does sound kind of exciting", I said. Paul thought for a moment and took a sip from his coffee before he answered.  
"It was a bit exciting too, I have to admit that..", he nodded.  
"Can I ask did he or she survive or..?", I continued, and yes, I was morbidly curious about it.  
"He. And yes, against all odds, he did survive. He was gonna jump from a roof of a high-rise building. Trust me, if we had fucked up, it would have not been a pretty sight. Though we did almost fuck it up if I'm completely honest.. At first we ourselves almost got in an accident more than once while driving to the scene since our driver was driving way too fast and.. You know how bad those roads are when there are enough cars, bikes and pedestrians and you have to drive a huge car that's a size of a full-sized truck and weights like a tank? Anyway, we did manage to get there just in time. If we would have been even five minutes late, he would have died already. Since he jumped from so high up, of course he did got hurt when coming down, but at least he was still alive. If the memory serves me correctly, he broke his leg or something like that, but at least he didn't die on our hands.. It felt really good to save a life. I hope I can do it again some day", Paul explained.  
As we were talking, Flake opened the door and came in. He had just enough free time from work to go on a late lunch with us, I had nothing important to do anyway since my knee was still acting up a bit and Paul didn't have to go to work until later in the evening again.  
"Guys, my break isn't too long, so chop chop", he rushed us.  
"I gotta get up from here first..", I huffed ironically and leaned against my cane. Sure, my knee was already a bit better than it had been earlier, but I didn't want to take a risk that it wasn't compeletely healed enough that I could walk without the cane or the brace yet.  
"If I fuck up my leg even worse than this, at least now I have two roommates who has more than the basic knowledge of what to do in a situation that needs medical attention", I continued.  
"That's true, but whatever happens, I'm not gonna carry you. You are at least double my size and have much more muscles than I do", Paul laughed sarcastically. I might have tried to take a swing at him lightly with my cane. Flake just rolled his eyes a bit.  
"Let's go now, I'm kind of in a hurry already and I thought you guys were hungry", he huffed.  
"We are coming", Paul nodded  
"I'm walking as fast as I can", I added. 

We didn't even take the car, since the place we were going to eat wasn't too far away from the apartment. My doctor even said it would be good if I walked more little by little, so my knee would get used to moving again. We just talked about what we should do during the weekend, since both Paul and Flake would have their day off coming up. It was kind of weird to be honest, it had only been a few days and we were already thick as thieves, like we had known each other for ages. Flake quickly checked his phone that he wasn't been called back to work yet, he mentioned something along the lines of that he was having a training period at the local hospital.  
"Basically we could go bowling or something.. That shouldn't be too hard to your knee..", Paul shrugged.  
"That's one possibility, since I can use my better leg just fine..", I nodded.  
"Yeah, that sounds like a plan..", Flake started when we suddenly heard some angry shouting. For a moment we wondered where did the noice come from. It sounded like a couple arguing. Well, it wasn't our problem, so we were going to continue our walking, until we heard..  
"Hey, you down there, watch out!"  
When we heard it, we stopped immediately. And that was a good thing, since only a few seconds after that, a huge flower pot fell to the ground. Flake adjusted his glasses a bit and glanced up where the pot had came from. We were walking past some moderately nice looking high-rise building, the flower pot had fallen from one of the balconies. Someone was now standing on that same balcony. That particular balcony was a bit high up, so we didn't see too well who exactly it was, but we did distinguish quite long, dark hair and from the voice we concluded that it was a guy around our age.  
"Are you guys okay?", he shouted.  
"We are fine, thanks, you warned us just in time!", Paul shouted back. The guy disappeared again from the balcony and the shouting started up again.  
"You crazy bitch! You gotta stop that! You could have hit those guys who were just minding their own business when you started to throw things around!", he shouted at someone, we guessed from the term "bitch" that probably some ladyfriend. And judging by his tone of voice, soon-to-be-ex, if we were completely correct. There was some more shouting back and forth until he said..  
"That's it, I'm leaving! This won't work! Our thing is over!"  
And a few moments later he almost bumped right into us.  
"I'm really sorry about that, my now ex and I were arguing.. And she's a hothead.. Good thing that you guys didn't get hurt.. I'm Christoph, by the way", he apologized and offered his hand. We introdued ourselves too.  
"We were going for a late lunch, do you wanna join us?", Paul asked and grinned widely.  
"That would be nice, but I have a problem now.. I don't have a place to stay anymore..", Christoph said and ran his hand through his long, dark hair, he did have a huge suitcase with him.  
It looked like all of his belongings was stuffed in it.  
"I might have a solution for your problem, if you are interested", I shrugged and Christoph raised his dark brow, that was way too perfectly curved for a guy, a bit.  
"I have a huge apartment, and there are still three free rooms, you are more than welcome to move in with us if you want to", I explained. Christoph's sapphire blue eyes, and no, I'm not even exaggerating this, lit up immediately. And at that same moment I learned that he liked to hug, a lot. And I'm quite a big guy, most of it was muscle, I have been told I'm built like a damn refrigerator. He hugged me as tightly as he could.  
"Christoph, a fair warning, I have a fucked up knee!", I warned him and instinctively almost took a swing at him with my cane too. He was quite a strong guy too.  
"So, you are coming with us?", Paul grinned again and he nodded.  
We grabbed our lunch, Flake glanced at his watch and cursed how he was almost late from work already and had to run after he was done.  
"It was nice to meet you, Christoph! I'll see you guys later! And Till, remember to take your meds if you want that knee of yours to get better!", he shouted. We on the other hand were not in a hurry to go anywhere, so we continued talking. Christoph and I had quite a lot in common, I loved swimming and water in general so much that I was basically a merman without an actual tail, and he mentioned that he worked as a life guard.  
"Of course I'm very serious about my job, but you can't argue with the fact that it wouldn't be a nice bonus to be able to see pretty girls in bikinis..", he shrugged and flicked his hair a bit.  
"Maybe, just maybe, that was one of the reasons why your ex started to fight with you?", Paul suggested.  
"Yeah, I guess that's possible too.. I did love her at first though.. But maybe it was just puppy love and I was way too blinded by rosy red glasses.. I mean, I don't wanna be the bad guy in the relationship, it's not nice to cheat, you know..", he added and twirled a tuft of his raven-black curls around his fingers.  
"Well, judging by the way that she tried to throw a huge flower pot at you, probably trying to at least hurt you badly, I would say you saved your ass from her craziness just in time", I said as we sipped our coffees.


	3. New Family Member

After a while we started to go back home, since Christoph had his suitcase still with him.  
"I don't know about you guys, but I feel like we have known each other for ages, everything is just so natural between us", he said.  
"I have the same feeling, maybe we had been friends already in some other timeline or something like that and now we managed to find each other again", Paul laughed.  
"Guys, wait, I have to adjust this damn brace again", I stopped them soon after that.  
"Flake mentioned something about taking your medicine, do you need something? I think I have aspirin somewhere..", Christoph asked and was completely ready to go through his suitcase.  
"Not at the moment, but thanks anyway. I just need to adjust this a bit so I can walk easier", I shrugged, gave the cane to Paul for a moment so I could get my hands free and lifted my pant leg.  
While I was doing so, some little kid went past us with his mother. He looked at the brace around my leg for a few moments and judging by the expression on his little face he was thinking about something.  
"Mommy, why does that man have a metal leg?", he asked innocently from his mother. The lady blushed a bit and hushed the boy, saying something along the lines of..  
"Sweetheart, I think it's some kind of leg brace, maybe he has been in an accident and hurt his leg..", she tried to explain. The children however are innocent and curious, so the boy asked..  
"Hey mister, are you a robot, since you have a metal leg?"  
Paul and Christoph laughed a bit when hearing it, I had to admit that the boy had some wild imagination. I thought for a moment what I should answer. I mean, I didn't want to lie to a child, but on the other hand, little boys about his age, around seven or so, lived for robots and stuff like that..  
"Oh, I'm not completely a robot. Just my leg is partially metal. And sometimes I have to adjust it so it would work or else I can't walk", I explained, tightened couple of screws on the brace and asked Paul, since he still had my cane, to lightly hit my leg just enough so the brace would make that metallic "clink"-kind of sound and after it I lowered the pant leg again. Judging by the expression on the boy's face, he really thought I had a full metal leg, and he was talking about it to his mother.  
"Mom, did you see it, he really is a robot, his leg made that metallic sound!", he gushed excitedly. It was kind of adorable. We got some good laughs from it, we had to tell it to Flake later.  
"How long do you have to use that brace, by the way?", Christoph asked when we continued walking.  
"I should get it off soon enough, since I have to start to walk normally again without keeping my leg so stiff all the time", I shrugged, though I was already kind of used to hear that small "click-click"-sound when I walked.  
"I can't wait to start to swim again, I haven't been able to since the knee has being difficult", I continued. I got that big apartment mostly because the local swimming hall was in a quite close proximity when compared to the location. Like I said, I'm basically a merman, just without a tail.  
"When your leg does get better, we could go to swim together sometime", Christoph suggested. That sounded nice. Though I loved swimming in the ocean more, but even the closest one was quite a far away. And since I didn't have a pool, at least not yet, of my own, swimming hall it had to be. It was better than nothing at all. 

Some time later in the evening Christoph and I were left at the apartment when Paul had to go to work and Flake hadn't come back home yet. Though he had sent a message earlier that he was coming soon, since he was only a trainee, not an actual worker, he didn't have to stay over a night at the hospital if it wasn't necessary.  
"Christoph? I'll go to take a quick shower. Can you answer the phone or the door, we still have a couple of free rooms left", I said.  
"Yeah, sure. What should I say?", he asked.  
"Take their names and numbers and say that I'll call back later", I shrugged. He laughed something about being a secretary, but was more focused on filing his nails. Little after that Flake finally came home.  
"It's kind of quiet in here", he pointed out and took off his jacket.  
"Till's in the shower and Paul is still at work", Christoph just shrugged.  
"Do you guys wanna eat something?", I asked when I came out from the shower.  
"I have just been drinking coffee for the last few hours, so yes please", Flake nodded.  
"Has anyone called or come over?", I continued when I went to the kitchen and Christoph shook his head.  
"No.. Oh, wait a minute, now the phone actually is ringing.. I'll get it", he corrected.  
"Hello, you called to the Lindemann's residence, Christoph speaking. How may I help you?", he answered.  
"You sound like you would work on some freaky hotline", we pointed out when he gave the phone to me.  
"That's a first time I hear that.. But I guess I have to use this sultry voice for something..", he just laughed a bit. I continue to talk with the guy on the phone. One of his first questions was about the pet policy at the apartment. He himself didn't have any pets, but he was working with animals. It was completely fine with me, and the other guys had mentioned that they didn't have any allergies caused by animals, though it was very thoughtful from him to ask about it first.  
"I know it's quite late already, would it be possible if I come over tomorrow morning before I go to the work? Oh, my name is Oliver, but you can call me Ollie if you want to", he said.  
"That's fine with me, Ollie. I'm always at home, I just hope you are not coming over like five in the morning..", I answered.  
"Is six thirty okay then? I know it's quite early but I have to be at work by seven", he asked.  
"That's fine. We'll see you then."  
We talked for a few more minutes and when the phone call was over, I continued with the cooking. We mentioned about it to Paul too when he came home from work.  
"A new guy is coming to check out the place? That's nice", he nodded. 

Well, Oliver really did come by exactly six thirty in the morning. It was early enough that all of us were at home, also we all were already up by then.  
"I'll get it..", Paul yawned when we heard the doorbell ringing and went to open the door, while tying the belt of his robe.  
Oliver was also a tall and slender, quite meek looking guy with a nice beard and soft smile, also he looked a bit younger than us.  
"Umh.. Morning? I'm Oliver, but you can call me Ollie.. I called yesterday and..", he started shyly. Paul grinned widely, like he used to do, and shook his hand.  
"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Ollie. My name is Paul. Please, come on in", he nodded.  
"Do you want some coffee?", Flake offered immediately after introducing himself.  
"I like him already", Christoph announced and took a sip from his coffee, he had mentioned during some of our conversations that he was one of those guys that could sense things from people.  
I looked at the guys and they nodded in unison. I'm pretty sure we had made our decision. We sat in the living room and talked while drinking the coffee. I asked Oliver what he exactly did, since he had mentioned that he worked with animals.  
"I'm a dog walker, as simple as that. It's not anything too hard and it actually pays quite well too. I have few standard clients. I get their dogs out two or three times a day. It keeps you in shape quite well when you run with five or six dogs few times a day", he explained.  
And so, a few hours later, Oliver came back with his stuff. In a quite short time, I got four new roommates, and there was still vacancy for one more if necessary. The five of us lived there for a while. Everything worked out so perfectly.  
And I was over the moon when I finally got that damn leg brace off and I could start to swim again!  
"Why are you laughing, Christoph?", I asked when we went to the swimming hall together. There wasn't any beaches nearby, so naturally he was working at that same swimming hall I used, though that exact day happened to be his day off. Christoph was trying his best to stifle his laughter, though he was grinning widely from ear to ear.  
"Oh, I was just thinking.. We could look like a couple.. You know, we come here together and spend a lot of time with each other", he shrugged. I huffed a bit and hit him gently with my bag. During the short time we had been living together had already taught to us that we all had kind of fucked up sense of humor.  
"I would ran after you, but I just got that leg brace off, so I don't want to fuck up my knee again immediately", I continued as Christoph fixed his man bun. It actually fit him surprisingly well.  
"We all are technically in a shared relationship", he just pointed out. Like I mentioned, we did have kind of fucked up sense of humor. I guess that happens sooner or later when five single guys live together and are blessed, or cursed, take it how you like, with a raunchy way of thinking.  
Also I was the eldest of us, and so it didn't take too long that the guys, I'm not completely sure who actually started it, started to call me "daddy". Mostly ironically of course, but it was kind of fun, I must admit that. They just said that if they called me "boss", it would have sounded more like we were a gang of mobsters. Hey, in my opinion, it wouldn't have been too bad thing either! Anyway, I guess we were sick puppies enough to find something fun in it. And so, the boys soon got used to it that when at home, I opened the door and shouted "alright boys, daddy's home!".


	4. Drunken Shenanigans

All of us had our own things to do around the house. For example, I was the chéf. The kitchen was my personal kingdom and the boys knew to stay away from there when I was cooking. We were having a nice Friday evening, just the five of us, all of the guys happen to have a day off next day.  
"Are you trying to get us fat, Till?", Flake and Ollie huffed ironically.  
"No, of course I'm not, you two just are twiggy like blades of grass being raped by a strong gust of wind! I just try to take care of that you eat enough!", I laughed. Sure, I'm a big guy myself and I love eating, so of course I liked to make huge meals. And the guys ate anything I made, they weren't too picky, only Flake had a nut allergy, but because I was a caring friend, I made sure that his meals wouldn't cause him to have a reaction.  
"There's nothing wrong with the food you make, it's just feels a bit like you really are trying to get us fat..", Flake rolled his eyes a bit and readjusted his glasses.  
"Yeah, just like the witch tries to fatten Hansel and Gretel up..", Ollie nodded ironically.  
"No offence, guys, but it would take a lifetime to get you two fat enough to eat", Paul pointed out.  
"Paul does have a point there", Christoph admitted immediately. A laughter filled the room. Then I heard the timer go off and I got up from the table.  
"I hope you guys still have a room for a dessert?", I asked.  
"Wait, you actually made a dessert?", they asked in unison. I nodded and got the cake out from the oven. A bit acrid, but still kind of sweet scent filled the room immediately when I did so.  
"Wait a second.. Is that a cherry scent I smell?", Paul lifted his brow a bit and I just grinned. I put the cake down from my hands, and took five plates and a huge knife out from the dish cabinet.  
"I gotta say, it's kind of dangerous looking when you handle huge knives like that..", he continued as I started to slice the cake.  
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me, Till! Are you now trying to fuck up my waistline? That's a lot of chocolate in one cake!", Christoph just laughed. They had figured out from the cherry scent what I had made as a dessert.  
"I may not be as good baker as I'm a chéf, but this is one of those few recepies I master quite well, even if I do say so myself. And yes, there is a lot of cherry liqueur in it", I just grinned again. I might have put a bit more liqueur in it than what the recipe said was necessary.. At least half a bottle to be exact..  
"So that's why you wanted to know if we have work tomorrow!", Flake understood instantly.  
"We are gonna be so hammered if we eat that whole thing..", Ollie and Paul nodded as I put the plates infront of them.  
"This will totally fuck up my waistline", Christoph huffed, but he didn't technically say "no".  
As we were having the dessert, the doorbell rang.  
"I'll get it", I nodded and went to the door. On my porch was standing a guy dressed in black and red clothes, with a heavy looking dose of kohl around his eyes, and who was smoking a cigarette.  
"Hi. You are Till, I assume? I'm Richard. I just wanted to ask do you still have a free room? I just thought I would try my luck, since I kind of need a place to stay..", he explained after introducing himself and dropped some ashes from his cigarette. I noticed that he did have a huge suitcase with him.  
"Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you, Richard. And yes, I still have a one room left. You are more than welcome to move in immediately, I see you have your stuff with you already", I nodded.  
He just asked was it okay that he was a smoker. I promised I didn't mind it, since I smoked some cigars too every once in a while, my only wish was that he would smoke outside as much as possible, or at least would be staying at one place and having a window open when smoking inside. It was okay for him so when he was done, he came in and met the other guys. Richard was like a final piece of the puzzle, he fit in with us so perfectly.  
"We just ate, but there's still dessert", I offered.  
"Please, Richard, save us, or else Till will made us eat this whole cake, take at least a piece", the boys nodded. Richard just smiled and nodded that he would be happy to take a piece or two, he said that he loved cakes and other sweet stuff like them, though usually he was the one who baked and had to ate everything himself. And yes, we managed to destroy the whole cake during the evening.  
"Till, that was the best Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte I have had in long time! I don't even remember the last time I actually ate it!", Richard complimented and walked over to the closest window to smoke another cigarette since it had started to rain and he didn't want to get his hair wet.  
"You are flattering me, Richard! I said earlier to the boys that I'm not that much of a baker..", I shouted from the kitchen while I was doing the dishes. Christoph, Paul and Ollie were playing cards, Flake was more focused on reading one of his many books again. Suddenly we realized that we haven't asked what kind of work he did. That was the basic question we asked from each other.  
A light blush rose on Richard's cheeks when he thought for a moment what he should answer.  
"Oh, I'm a.. How should I say this.. Well, I'm an amateur actor, nothing too fancy..", he said.  
"Oh, I would have guessed you are a boxer or something like that, you do have the muscles for that", Christoph pointed out innocently and fixed his man bun again, since a few individual curls were falling over his eyes.  
"Well, actually I'm more like a wrestling kind of guy, but I have tried some boxing too..", Richard nodded and started to file his nails when he was done with his cigarette.  
"Christoph, do you happen to have some kind of built-in indicator since you sense things like this?", the boys just laughed.  
"I guess it's some kind of gay indicator just without the gay part itself", he laughed with them.  
"I can show you some wrestling maneuvers if you want to", Richard just offered ironically and put his nail file down. Without even waiting for an answer, he was already charging at him and Christoph got quickly up from the table and started to run away from him.  
"Oh fuck, he's actually serious!", he screamed. Thankfully the apartment was quite spacious, so they had a lot of room to run around.  
"What's going on?", I asked, the kitchen was a bit behind a wall from the living room where the others were so I didn't actually see what was happening.  
"Richard offered to show some wrestling maneuvers to Christoph and started to chase him", the boys explained calmly.  
"Richard, whatever you do, do not touch my hair!", Christoph screamed from some other room.  
"Hey, even I can admit that it would be too low trick!", Richard answered, both of them were laughing, though of course Christoph was a bit frightened at first from his sudden reaction. Suddenly there was quite a loud "thud" from the spare bedroom. We glanced at each other and went to check it out.  
"I'm surprised that Christoph actually managed to run away from him for that long, since we indulged so much of that cherry liqueur in that cake..", Ollie whistled.  
"As long as they are not hurting themselves..", Paul nodded.  
"That thud actually sounded a lot like the bed springs..", Flake added. We got to the door just in time to see what was going on. The boys were a tangled mess of long legs and arms on the bed, Christoph being under Richard, who had him in a quite impressive looking headlock, Christoph had his face halfly pressed against the pillow.  
"I believe you, Richard, you are good with wrestling!", he huffed, and Richard just laughed.  
"Now please get off of me, from that angle your crotch is pressed a bit too close to my ass for my liking..", Christoph continued, mostly ironically, and he obliged, helping him up from the bed too. We just looked at them for moment and burst out in laughter.  
"I think I need another drink.. Is there still that cherry liqueur somewhere..", Paul laughed.  
"What? That was simple wrestling, not fucking, you dirty-minded bastards! Though if I'm being completely honest, Christoph, if you really were a chick, I might actually do you, but do consider the fact that I'm quite drunk right now", Richard grinned, he sure had some acting skills.  
"Paul, can you pour glasses for us too?", we asked when we came back to the living room, like we weren't completely hammered already. After Flake, with the most medical knowledge out of us, had checked that none of us was having an alcohol poisoning, we just continued having a great time. Let's just say it was a very good thing that none of the boys had work the next day..


	5. A Dirty Secret

We weren't technically in our twenties anymore, but we still knew exactly how to party. When I got my eyes open and looked around a bit I noticed that we had been sleeping in the living room. I had slept on the bigger couch. A leather couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing to sleep on, at least it was kind of hard to get up from it. Ollie was still sleeping on one of the armchairs. How he could sleep on that in any even closely comfortable position, I have no idea. Christoph on the other hand was laying on the divan, almost like a Roman god or something.  
"Morning, Till. Did you sleep well?", Flake asked.  
"Morning, Flake.. I guess I did.. Though my neck is killing me.. How are you up on your feet already?", I raised my brow when I noticed him and cracked my neck a bit.  
"At least one of us has to keep an eye on the others, so you guys won't start to choke on your own vomit. Thankfully that didn't happen during the night. I kind of felt it was my task, since I have the best medical knowledge out of us, remember. Here, drink this, you need something that's not alcohol or caffeine yet into your system", he said and handed me a glass of orange juice.  
While sipping it I was going to ask where Richard and Paul were, until I noticed them. Somehow they had managed to sleep on the smaller couch in one pile. Richard was somewhere between Paul and the couch cushions. For a moment I wondered how exactly they both fit on it at the same time, until Richard moved suddenly and dropped Paul directly to the floor, which made him to wake up.  
"Ouch.. Was I run over by a freight train..", he huffed and rubbed his eyes a little bit.  
"You just fell to the floor from the couch, that's all", Flake explained and helped him up.  
"Please don't shout.. This hangover is awful..", Christoph moaned, he started to wake up too.  
"Is there any coffee?", Richard yawned.  
"Trust me, you don't want to drink coffee immediately after waking up in a hangover", Flake warned him.  
"Remind me to not to drink so much anymore..", Christoph asked and got up from the divan.  
"That cherry liqueur sure is some treacherous stuff.. You don't even realize you might drink too much..", Ollie nodded.  
"Christoph? Are you okay? You look kind of pale..", I pointed out.  
"I'm fine.. At least I think so.. Nope, I'll take that back..", he said.  
"Just don't throw up on my couches, it's a pain to get leather cleaned up!", I reminded him. Christoph just nodded and managed to get in the bathroom just in time and he started to heave up his guts.  
"I guess we just have to accept the truth that we are not teenagers anymore..", Richard shrugged and went to smoke a cigarette.  
"Are you still breathing in there?", Paul asked since Christoph was quiet for a moment.  
"Yeah.. I guess.. I feel a bit better..", he answered.  
"Till, the next time you bake, try not to use so much liqueur..", the boys just reminded me.  
I agreed with them.  
That Saturday went actually quite well, at least when we had sobered up enough. It was basically a more or less controlled chaos from the start when the six of us started to live together. Though we all were completely different personalities, for some reason we actually made it work. We even tried to find everyone some chores to do around the house.  
"I'll do anything else than cook, ever. I have tried, and it's really not my thing.. But I could do the dishes or something like that..", Paul said. I promised to him it wasn't a problem at all, I would be more than happy to cook, Richard promised to help with the baking every once in a while.  
"If Paul doesn't need to cook, and he voluntarily wants to do the dishes, can I get a slide from the laundry duty? Those laundry detergents are not good for my manicure..", Christoph begged. Richard said the same, even using the same excuse that the laundry detergents would fuck up his manicure.  
"Well, somebody has to do the laudry, or we will be out of any clean clothes very soon..", I pointed out.  
"I can do it, I have no problem with it", Flake promised immediately.  
"I could, like, vacuum and dust the shelves, stuff like that", Christoph suggested then. He had some other excuse that the other cleaners weren't so "bad for his manicure" than those laundry detergents would have been, since he could use some rubber gloves if necessary.. It was fine with us. Richard thought for a moment, there wasn't too many important chores to do anymore where to choose from.  
"I can take care of the trash duty, since somebody has to do it", Ollie offered.  
"Richard, do you happen to know how to do plumbing?", I asked.  
"Just enough so the pipes won't get too clogged up..", he nodded. And so it was decided. 

A few days later.. I was coming home from the doctor after getting my knee checked up one more time after I stopped using the leg brace.  
"Boys, daddy's home!", I shouted from the door. At first the apartment seemed kind of quiet. I glanced at the clock. Well, Flake was still at the hospital by that hour, Ollie was out with the dogs, if I remembered correctly, and I guessed that Paul was having a day shift at the fire station or something..  
"Boys? Is anybody home?", I called again.  
"Aw fuck! This can't be serious! This is gonna fuck up my manicure! And in even more worse scenario, my hair too!"  
It sounded like Richard. I went to see what was happening.  
"You agreed with us that you would do this chore", Christoph's voice answered to him.  
"Boys?", I repeated one more time and glanced in from the bathroom door. Christoph was sitting on a small stool, dressed in his bathrobe and his hair on high man bun again. Richard on the other hand was on his knees on the floor, while trying to fix something in the cabinet under the sink. Well, we had agreed that he would do the plumbing if necessary, so I guessed he was doing so.  
"What's going on?", I asked.  
"Oh, hi, Till! You are home already?", Christoph nodded, he jumped a bit when he noticed me. He then explained that he had tried to take a shower, but there had been something wrong with the water pressure, or something, and now he was waiting that Richard could do something about it.  
"I'm trying my best here, but I'm not an expert! Ouch!", Richard huffed, and judging by the swearing that followed his comment, he either almost hit his head to the pipes or broke his nails.  
"I can call an actual plumber if really necessary..", I promised.  
"No, I can do this, it shouldn't be too hard! I even found your tools! I just need to tighten this one part.. I'm almost done already..", he resisted. He was a headstrong guy, that's for sure.  
"And you really need to use overalls that tight?", I raised my brow a bit, you just could not notice how alarmingly tight they were. It kind of jumped right infront of your eyes..  
"I know I have a nice ass for a guy, thank you!", Richard mostly got amused by it, while glancing over his shoulder and then turned back at the sink cabinet to continue fixing the pipes.  
"Just fix those pipes now, will you, I want to take a shower when it's still this day, I have a afternoon shift today..", Christoph huffed. I smiled to myself, they almost sounded like a bickering couple, but I didn't say it out loud.  
"You guys wanna eat something? I could make some quick snacks..", I just asked. Christoph was going to answer, when Richard interrupted him.  
"That should do it! There was a small blockage, but I got it open. You can have your shower now, Christoph", he grinned and put the tools he had used back in the toolbox next to him.  
"Finally..", he nodded and got up from the stool. He was one of those guys that got the water running first before actually getting in the shower. We were going to leave with Richard, until.. There was this muffled rattling kind of sound and both Richard and Christoph swore at the same time.  
"Till, don't look back, just close the door, quickly!", they shouted. Well, I did as they said, and asked what was going on. Then I heard how the water was rushing inside. Wait, could it be..  
"Fuck, I screwed up with something, the pipe started to leak!", Richard shouted again.  
"If I'm late for work, that's your fault!", Christoph shouted too. Though being as headstrong as ever, he still didn't want me to call an actual plumber. I just listened behind the door for a moment while he was swearing like a sailor and Christoph tossed some snarky comments here and there every once in a while.  
"Hi, Till. What's with the ruckus?", Ollie's voice asked from the door when I went to kitchen.  
"Oh, hi, Ollie. To put it as briefly as possible, Christoph tried to take a shower, there was something wrong the pipes and Richard tried his best to fix it, he was almost done and then he realized he had fucked up with something as the pipes started to leak and now Christoph is bitching at him that it's his fault if he's late for work", I shrugged.  
"And I thought I had a rough day with those hounds of hell..", Ollie smirked ironically.  
"I thought you liked animals?", I wondered.  
"Yeah, I do, but it can get tiring sooner or later.. Almost all of them want to go to a different directions every time.. And I can't exactly split myself in pieces to do so too..", he explained. While we were talking, Richard came out from the bathroom. He was wet like a dog, pun actually not intented.  
"Till, you might wanna call that plumber after all.. I made it so Christoph can shower for now but I don't think that the pipes will stay attached for too long.. I'll go get some dry clothes.. Thankfully I didn't have my better pants on..", he said. Ollie was going to continue his story about his day with the "hounds of hell", like he had so lovingly called them, until we heard Christoph screaming.  
"Wait, was that Christoph? I guess it came from the bathroom..", Ollie asked and went to knock on the door.  
"Christoph? What is it? Did you saw a spider in there?", he laughed a bit.  
"Tell Richard to get his damn ass back here!", he just screamed.  
"Richard? Christoph has something to say to you!", I shouted to him.  
"What?", he shouted back, he was trying to find come dry clothes like he had said.  
"The pipes are leaking again!", Christoph screamed again. Oh right. I haven't called that plumber yet.. Richard and Christoph almost started a whole shouting match with each other over it.  
"Dude, I'm not gonna come in there if you don't have at least a towel around you!"  
"I have the bathrobe on, you numbskull, I was almost done already! Just do something!"  
"Six single guys living in one apartment.. Probably not the greatest idea after all..", Ollie just shrugged.  
Richard just rolled his eyes but went in anyway as Christoph opened the door for him. Also Ollie actually had the nerve to say out loud what I was thinking, though of course he did mean it in a purely brotherly way.  
"You two almost start to sound like a bickering couple!", he hollered so they could hear him over the still gushing water.  
"We sound like a what? Oliver, I warn you, I would dare you to say that again, but I'm really not in the mood for fucking up my manicure!", Richard shouted back, you could hear from his voice that he tried his best with stifling his laughter, Christoph didn't even try, he was already howling.  
"Anyway, I got the water pressure down enough so it isn't flowing so much anymore! So nobody touches that damn faucet until that actual plumber has done their job!", he continued then.  
"I'm making a call already!", I promised.  
"Well, if you don't need me here anymore, I'll go to read.. I got.. Uh.. Rehearsals later..", Richard cleared his throat and rushed into his room.  
"Is it just me, or is Richard behaving weirdly if there is even a small reference to his job?", Ollie asked and raised his brow a bit.  
"Well, he did mention that he's an amateur actor, key word here being "amateur", so maybe he's still too shy to talk about it", Christoph shrugged and fixed his hair on a better man bun again.  
"Till, could you please make some coffee?", Richard shouted from his room.  
"Sure! Sometimes I really feel like I'm a single father of five teenage boys..", I laughed.  
"Save some for me too, I just remembered I have to do something, I'll come back as soon as I can", Ollie nodded.  
"And I gotta go before I'm really late for work.. Bye, Richard! See you later, daddy!", Christoph laughed ironically, slapped lightly my shoulder and left with the same door opening as him.  
I just rolled my eyes and went to make that coffee, a cup of it would actually work miracles.  
"Richard? Do you want to eat something with the coffee?", I asked.  
"No thanks, just the coffee is fine!", he hollered back.  
"Is something bothering you? You know, you can talk with me about anything if you want to..", I continued.  
"I'm fine, I just had forgot that I got rehearsals later and I haven't read my parts yet..", he gulped. I could hear the nervousness in his voice. Something was bothering him, I was sure about it. 

When the coffee was ready, I poured two cups and went to Richard's room.  
"Richard? The coffee is ready, can I come in?", I knocked on his door.  
"Mmh.. Sure, thanks, Till..", he answered and I opened the door. Richard was laying on his bed with an open script before him and he slowly raised his gaze from it when I stepped inside.  
"You know, we haven't known each other for long yet, but please remember that you don't need to keep any secrets from us", I said and handed the coffee cup to him. Richard's instant reaction was to stuff the script quickly under his pillow before I could see what it was about.  
"I'm just still a bit shy, you know..", he blushed a bit and took a sip from his coffee.  
"Dude, I don't mind, as long as you are not doing anything illegal", I promised.  
"Oh, it's not illegal, just morally questionable, that's all..", he said awkwardly.  
"Richard, you do realize you just made me get more interested", I pointed out and he sighed. Then he thought for a moment, took a couple more sips from the coffee and gave the script to me.  
"Just promise me you won't laugh..", he huffed as I sat beside him.  
"This is..", I started, I didn't laugh, but I did whistle out loud.  
"Lewd, I know..", he nodded and covered his face with his hands.  
"I was going to say risque, but that's basically the same thing..", I admitted. That made me remember something from earlier.  
"Now I understand.. That's why it looked somehow familiar when you were fixing that pipe..", I continued.  
"I mean, I guess it came instinctively, but.. Wait, looked familiar?", Richard raised his brow.  
"What? I have seen some things in my life, you know. Don't tell me it's a surprise to you?"  
This time I did laughed a bit. Deep, almost brick like shade of red flushed on Richard's cheeks.  
"You mostly quiet guys are always the most dangerous ones..", he huffed ironically.  
"I'm just a man of culture", I laughed a bit again. It made him laugh too.  
"I mean, when it comes to the acting itself, I really am an amateur.. Pretty girls are a nice bonus though..Thankfully most of the time I just need to look good myself and hope that the cameras get my better side..", Richard laughed.  
"Though I'm a guy too, I can still say that you really are quite a good looking guy, I'm sure those girls are drooling over you", I nodded.  
"Now you are just flattering me..", he grinned and ran his hand through his hair. Then he got quiet for a moment and just looked at me. This time was my turn to blush, I wasn't too used to get attention like that from other guys. I instinctively put my hands over my lap when his emerald-green gaze went from head to toes.  
"I would know at least a couple of girls who would like you too", he said quite bluntly.  
"Actually.. What if.. Oh, I might have an idea!", he said suddenly and grabbed his phone.  
"Richard? May I ask what are you doing?", I raised my brow a bit. He put his cup of coffee away and got up.  
"Come on, give me a pose!", he laughed.  
"You are not taking a video, right?", I checked.  
"No, I'll just snap some photos", he promised. I just rolled my eyes but decided to play along.  
"Fine, what do you want me to do?", I just smirked.  
"Like I said, give me a pose. Something simple at first, maybe show off you muscles a bit or something like that", he suggested.  
"You mean something like this?", I asked and tensed the muscles on my upper body. Richard nodded, grinned and snapped a photo or two.  
"Uh huh, that's good. Now little bit more side profile", he continued.  
"Richard, I swear to God I don't even believe in, you are one crazy bastard..", I laughed but did as he said anyway. Richard played with the lamps for a moment to get the best possible lights he could and took some more photos.  
"Can I ask what the heck are you two doing?", Ollie's voice asked suddenly from the door, he was also sipping coffee. I glanced over my shoulder at him. Richard looked at him upside-down, this time he was hanging a bit over the edge of his bed while taking the photos.  
"Just some impromptu photo shoot?", he suggested ironically.  
"Do I even wanna know more?", Ollie just smirked. Richard got up from the bed, gave his phone to me so I could check the photos he took and told him, it would be hard to keep it as a secret anymore.  
"I see.. We have to pay him when the guys are back..", he nodded and rubbed his beard a bit with his free hand.  
"Excuse me?", I wondered.  
"Me, Paul and Flake have to pay Christoph now. We kind of made a bet what exactly you do as your job, they didn't completely swallow the actor thing", he shrugged.  
"Well, Christoph did believe that you are an actor, when you mentioned about it. Paul on the other hand was sure that you are a wrestler, since we did saw your skills earlier. And before you mentioned about the acting, I really thought you could be a boxer. Flake's comment was mostly that whatever you do, as long as it's nothing illegal and you are doing it by your own free will, he doesn't mind what it is", he explained. Richard nodded slowly and showed the script to him too.  
"Christoph was right with his hunch again, I really am an actor..", he laughed a bit.  
"I can see..", Ollie nodded, his gaze went quickly through the first pages of the script.  
"You are pretty good with the camera too", I pointed out. Before Ollie had a chance to say no, Richard had already taken some photos of him too.  
"I need to take the photos of the others too..", he huffed.


	6. Shark Warning

And so he did, when Flake and Christoph came back from work, Paul was working overtime. When he eventually also came home, Richard almost attacked him at the door.  
"What the..", he got startled a bit.  
"Don't move, and do not take off that helmet, I gotta take a photo!", Richard stopped him.  
"He will explain after he has taken the photo", the boys nodded.  
"So.. You are an actor after all.. Okay.. Why do you take our photos then?", Paul wondered.  
"I have my reasons. Now please excuse me, I gotta make a phone call", Richard grinned.  
"Paul, just a question, what have you been doing tonight?", Flake asked and lifted his gaze for a moment from the book he was reading.  
"We had a smoke diving exercise, why do you ask?", he shrugged and took off his jacket and boots.  
"You reek of smoke, even worse than Richard and his cigarettes", Christoph critized, pinching his nose theatrically and almost pushed him into the bathroom.  
"Did that plumber fix those pipes?", Ollie remembered while building a house of cards.  
"Yeah, they should work now", I nodded.  
"Oh thank heavens.. And you are not coming out until that reek of smoke is gone!", Christoph shouted before Paul got the water running.  
"Okay, mom, gimme a break!", he answered ironically.  
"I wasn't aware I still had a wife, I thought I was a single dad of five teenage boys", I said.  
"Yeah, you are, I'm just the one who got mom's looks and her patience to at least try and take care of you numbskulls", Christoph shrugged and kept a complete poker face while saying so.  
"Has anybody ever told you that you look like a shark?", Richard asked when he had ended his phone call and lifted a cigarette on his lips.  
"EXCUSE ME?", Christoph almost screeched like a banshee when he said it.  
"What did you just say? Any possible animal in the world and you compare me to a..", he huffed.  
"Sharks are technically cartilaginous fishes", Flake corrected, while still reading his book.  
"Yeah, well, anyway, a shark? What, do I have huge dorsal fin on my back? Or some gills on my neck?", he snorted. You could say that he was quite focused on his looks.. Richard was wise enough to not to ask for more trouble and just dropped some ashes from his cigarette.  
"What I was trying to say, before mister drama queen interrupted me, was that your eyes remind me of a shark. You know, they are nature's own killing machines. And right now, you actually look like you could strangle me.. But what I have learned, when a shark is not hunting for food, they just swim around in the ocean", he explained.  
"And that is relevant with me exactly how?", Christoph huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"Well, now that you are calming down, pretty boy, you don't have that murderous gaze anymore, in your case it turns into a sexy smolder", Richard said, this time he kept the poker face.  
"Did I miss something?", Paul asked when he came out from the shower.  
"Well, Richard compared Christoph to a shark, and he got pretty offended by it, you just missed the bloodbath that didn't actually happen", Ollie said ironically.  
"Just watch your mouth, Richard, or something bad might happen to your hairgel or something..", Christoph snapped, being still a bit offended.  
"Oh, I'm so scared! What would you do, mix some instant adhesive in it?", he asked.  
"I'll show you!"  
"Make me."  
"I will.."  
"Boys, stop it! You are not teenage girls!", I stopped them before they actually would start to fight, Christoph was already rolling his sleeves up, and I knew that Richard had his nailfile in his chest pocket. Thankfully they didn't get physical with each other, they just threw some petty insults around for a while.  
"Both of you, in your rooms, now. And you are not coming out until you are ready to apologize each other", I commanded.  
"Alright, daddy..", both of them said at the same time. It felt a bit weird, to actually command them like a father would command his sons.. But at least they stopped fighting.  
"Remind us to try to not to get on your bad side..", they whistled.  
The boys sat in almost complete silence for about half an hour, until Christoph opened his door for a crack and glanced out.  
"If Richard stops being a petty prick, I'm ready to apologize", he said and left his room.  
"I'll ask", Paul nodded and went to knock on his door. Richard also peeked out from the door's crack. He thought for a moment, but nodded then that half an hour was enough for him too.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't think before I said the words out loud", he said and offered his hand to him.  
"It's fine, just don't compare me to a shark anymore", he just laughed a bit.  
"Sure, I mean, Till is the actual shark here..", he laughed too.  
"I heard that! And if you are referring to the fact that I love swimming, I believe the correct term is a merman!", I just rolled my eyes.  
"Wait, there are actually a guy version of mermaids?", Ollie asked, he and Paul were now playing cards again.  
"Every creature, actually living or otherwise, usually have some kind of male and female ratio, though mermaids are better known than mermen", Flake nodded and readjusted his glasses.  
"And I'm very sorry, guys, but I have to say it again, you two are like a bickering couple", Ollie added.  
"Now that you mentioned it, I can actually see it too", Paul nodded. Flake didn't say anything, he just rolled his eyes and continued his reading, he hid his smirk behind his book.  
"Yeah, maybe you should just fuck already and be done with it?", I said, ironically, of course. Richard and Christoph started to laugh, so hard actually that Richard almost choked on his cigarette. Christoph slapped him on the back couple of times and when Richard was done with the coughing, he whispered something to him and they grinned to each other. Then, without saying another word, Christoph grabbed a hold of his tie and pulled him to the door of his room.  
"Wait, I gotta grab something first", Richard nodded simply and adjusted his tie a little bit. We didn't say anything at first, just watched what they were doing. Richard got something from his room and went back to Christoph. He whispered something to him again, and whatever it was, he just nodded with a complete poker face.  
Well, I have to admit, Richard wasn't competely wrong, Christoph really had this certain almost shark-like gaze that melted into a more quaint looking smoulder as quickly as it came on his face. Richard just winked at us dramatically, put his hand on Christoph's hip and they went into his room. We listened for a moment what would happen when they closed the door. All we heard, at least at first, was that they laughed and shuffled around a bit.  
"Richard, you do realize you are a sick son of a bitch..", Christoph laughed.  
"I know, but somebody has to do it, and I do it quite well", Richard answered. I glanced at the other guys. Paul lifted his brow in a way that he was going to say something but closed his mouth before he even started.  
"Do you think they really..", he started again after he had thought for a moment.  
"Well, we don't know Richard that well yet.. Maybe there are still things he hasn't told to us..", Flake admitted and readjusted his glasses again.  
"As long as they know whatever they are going to do, they are grown up men after all..", Ollie nodded approvingly. Though I had a sneaking suspicion that they were going to trick us somehow.. At least they did manage to surprise us if nothing else. Even the book fell to the floor from Flake's hands when we heard the overly dramatic moaning and groaning.  
"That.. Does actually sound like Richard's voice..", I was the first who said it out loud.  
"Then is it just me or does Christoph sound way too much like a chick..", Paul coughed. Then we heard Christoph's actual voice, as he said..  
"Oh wow, that actually is quite hot!"  
"I know, right? Thankfully they got my better side..", Richard laughed. We went to the door and tried to open it. The boys hadn't even locked it. When we opened it, they turned to look at us. Sure, Richard had taken off his tie and vest, but other than that, both of them still had their clothes on.  
"Oh, sorry, was the volume too high up?", he just grinned when they noticed us, Christoph tried his best to stifle his laughter.  
"Let's just say he does know how to act", he smirked.  
"I suspected you would trick us somehow..", I nodded.  
"We were going to make some noice at first, then wait for a moment and then just come out without our shirts on just for the heck of it", they laughed.  
"You numbskulls made me stop my reading..", Flake rolled his eyes and went back to his book, Paul and Ollie just laughed along with them.


	7. Personal Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last part for now, I got a writer's block with this one, but I will continue it immediately when I get the inspiration for it.  
> But I hope you have liked it thus far.

"Oh, I need to ask you guys some quick questions", Richard remembered suddenly.  
"Let's start with you since you are already sitting there, Christoph", he continued, rushed us out from the room and closed the door. We listened for a moment what he asked.  
"Just a few of simple, quick questions. First of all, how tall are you?", Richard started.  
"Around 6'3, give or take maybe a couple of inches..", Christoph answered with a very confused tone in his voice.  
"Okay, and how much do you approximately weight?", he continued after writing it down.  
"Last time I checked, around 195 lbs..", he nodded. Richard wrote it down too.  
"What's your favorite color?", he asked.  
"You can call me boring, but blue is nice.."  
"Uh huh.. Since you have long hair, do you prefer it more up or down?"  
"That's a.. A bit weird question.. But I guess it depends on the occasion, sometimes up, sometimes down.. Both are fine with me, as long as I don't have to cut it too short or something..."  
"Do you have a favorite flower?"  
"I like roses, and orchids are nice too.."  
"And this is going to be a personal one", Richard warned. He truly kept his word.  
"What size is your junk?", he asked as neutrally as he could.  
"Around seven and a half inches.. I think that's close enough...", Christoph mumbled.  
"Good, good.. Thanks, you are free to go. Ollie, don't go anywhere, you are up next", Richard nodded and immediately after Christoph had left the room, he pulled Ollie in.  
"Let's start with the same basic questions, how tall are you and how much do you approximately weight?", Richard asked from him too.  
"Well, I'm almost 6'6 and around 188 lbs.. I'm tall and skinny, I know..", Ollie nodded.  
"What's your favorite color?", he continued.  
"Something energetic, like orange, green or purple.."  
"Something to actually choose from, that's nice.. How about girls, shy or wild?"  
"Umh.. I'm kind of a shy guy myself, so maybe shy.. But with a little bit of wilder side.."  
"I was gonna ask that next, do you like leather? It doesn't need to be in a kinky way."  
"A nice leather jacket or a good pair of leather pants or something like that are okay.."  
"I'm going to ask that really personal question next", Richard warned again after writing Ollie's answers down. Well, at least he did warn before asking about it..  
"Around eight inches, if I'm as accurate as possible..", he nodded.  
"Okay.. Can you ask Paul to come in next, please?"  
"Richard is as giddy as a school girl on a prom night, why he needs to know stuff like this?", I wondered a bit when Ollie left Richard's room.  
"You wanted to see me this time?", Paul asked. He barely managed to even sit down when Richard already started questioning him.  
"How tall are you, how much do you approximately weight and what's your favorite color?"  
"Around 5'7, I guess, at least not taller than that.. Maybe 170 lbs, I know I'm a little bit heavier than I possibly should be since I'm so short, but at least it's healthy kind of weight, right? And I have to be as basic as I can be and say red", Paul nodded after thinking about it for a moment.  
"What's your opinion about strippers?", Richard asked quite directly and wrote his answers down too.  
"Well, at least most of the time they are pretty girls that earn their money by dancing and stuff.. If they are doing it by their own free will, I don't mind that much..", he shrugged.  
"So, hypothetically, if there was a pretty girl dancing, would you pay her for that?"  
"I would be a gentleman enough and pay her drink too or something like that.."  
"I gotta ask that really personal one from you too.."  
"Around seven and a half inches, almost eight, really. I might be short, but I pack that heat elsewhere", he nodded.  
"An honest answer, I like that.. Flake! Could you come here for a moment too?", Richard shouted after he was ready with Paul.  
"I really hope you have a good excuse to interrupt my reading again", Flake huffed a bit.  
Just like with the other guys, Richard asked his height, approximate weight and favorite color too.  
"Well, I'm a couple inches shorter than Ollie, so around 6'4, I think.. And I guess I weigh something like a 190 lbs or at least close to that.. Like Ollie, I'm tall and skinny.. And about that color, a dash of bright yellow is a nice change every once in a while..", Flake nodded and Richard wrote it down too.  
"Can I ask you something about your glasses? Do you see without them?", he continued.  
"I occasionally use contact lenses, so I could be without my glasses for a while..", he added.  
"What do you think about a threesome?"  
"You ask very weird questions, you know that? But I guess that it's fine, if it's prearranged and all of the participants agree on it.. You know, stuff like that is something you really shouldn't rush..", he just shrugged. Once again, Richard asked that one question last and Flake, like usually, adjusted his glasses a bit.  
"Around seven inches, I'm more than fine with that", he just shrugged again.  
"Thanks. I'm almost done. I just need to ask Till a couple of questions too", Richard nodded. I was already waiting behind the door, since I knew he would be asking me next 'cause I was the last one left. Flake returned to continue his reading, the other three were playing cards once again.  
"So, what do you want to know?", I asked.  
"Just a few simple things. How tall are you?"  
"Somewhere roughly between 6'1 and 6'3, but remember that this fucked up knee might take away couple of inches", I shrugged. Richard just nodded and wrote it down in his notes.  
"How much do you approximately weight?", he continued and chewed his pencil a bit.  
"About 240 lbs, I guess.. I'm a big guy after all, though a good chunk of it is muscle.."  
"What's your favorite color?", Richard continued while reading his earlier notes.  
"Alongisde of black and grey, I like pink. I'm a tough guy, sure, but I have my soft side too."  
"Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?", he asked and I had to thought for a moment.  
"Both, as long as they are pretty, and redheads are just fine too, I'm not too picky", I answered then. Now was Richard's turn to think for a moment before he asked his next question.  
"Good, good.. This is gonna be a bit of a risque question, but hypothetically, if you had a chance, would you do a girl from behind?", he asked.  
"Well, I don't see why not, if she's into it too, then I guess it's fine", I shrugged. Personally I didn't mind it that much, but if the partner would be into it, it was fine with me too, occasionally. Richard nodded, made a "mmh" kind of sound and asked his last question.  
"I asked this from the other guys too, and they gave as honest answers as they could, so.. What size is your junk?", he asked from me too. I had some difficulties to hide my grin when I saw the surprised expression on his face. Richard just stared at me for a moment, his jaw hung open.  
"Around nine or so inches. I'm a big guy, in every sense of the word", I just grinned.  
"Around nine.. You are even bigger than I am.. And I though I was a well sized guy.. I'm actually impressed..", he gasped. I almost could hear how the gears were turning inside his head. While still processing what I had said, he grabbed his notes and almost ran out from the room.  
"I need to make a phone call!", he just hollered.  
"What the hell happened, Till? Did you show your junk to him or something since he reacted that way?", the boys wondered.  
"I just told him my approximate size since he asked, that's all", I shrugged.  
"Yeah, I'll keep in touch. Yes, I know, I have rehearsals tomorrow night. I'm reading my parts as we speak, don't worry about it. I'll talk to you later. Bye", Richard ended his phone call.  
I also got a phone call a bit later in the evening. It was my doctor. The last check up was fine. I could go back to work. I was already waiting for that.  
"Boys, I got a call from my doctor. He said that my knee is fine. I can go back to work. I'll probably be gone already before you wake up", I told to the boys.  
"That's nice to hear, Till. So you work in the morning shifts, huh?", they nodded.  
"Usually yes. Though sometimes it could go late in the evening too", I shrugged. 

The first day back at work was great. Even the words can't express how much I had missed it, since with the leg brace on I couldn't stand up for too long, and I kind of need my legs while working. I was like a kid in the candy store. Sure, my job isn't the easiest there is, but somebody had to do it. The boys just commented that if felt kind of weird since I was now working too. They had got used to the fact that I was usually always at home and just writing my poems or something.  
And so, when I came home later that day, I noticed that Richard was again on the phone while smoking a cigarette. He nodded when he noticed me but looked kind of stressed out while listening to whoever was on the other side of the phone call.  
"That's not good! I already read all of my parts!", he huffed and dropped some ashes from his cigarette.  
"There's nothing you can do? I thought there was a deadline or something with this? Yeah yeah, I know, things can happen.. That's still a bit fucked up..", he continued after listening for a moment again. Paul and Flake were once again having an evening shift so they had already left. Judging by the other sounds I was hearing, Christoph was in the shower, and Ollie was once again building a house of cards.  
"Hold on, I'll ask", Richard said suddenly and turned to us.  
"Guys? Does any of you know how to use a movie style camera?", he asked.  
"It shouldn't be too much different than basic photographing, right?", I wondered.  
"I took some photograhing classes at school, but it has been a while..", Ollie shrugged.  
"Ollie, you are a life saviour, I have a gig for you!", Richard exclaimed. Right as he said it, we looked at each other. Somehow we knew immediately what he meant by it.  
"What the.. Wait, no! No no! I didn't say..", he tried to argue.  
"Don't worry, I got just the guy! I'll take care of everything!", he said to the phone.  
"Richard, what the hell?! I have nothing against what you do, but I didn't say that.."  
"Don't worry, we just need a replacement for maybe a few shootings, the usual camera guy is sick. That's literally all, you just take care of the cameras, maybe occasionally check some monitors every once in a while and just chug on coffee until we are done", Richard promised.  
"Did I miss something?", Christoph asked when he came out from the shower.  
"I guess Richard just nominated Ollie as their new camera guy..", I shrugged.  
"Do I really have to?", Ollie swallowed. He looked literally like a deer in the headlights.  
"Ollie, please! We were almost done with this one! Just some scenes were still missing! I promise you don't need to do anything else than that!", Richard begged.  
"Okay okay, I'll do it, but only because you are my friend..", he finally agreed.  
"You really are a life saviour! I would have been screwed without you!", he sighed.  
"Like literally?", Christoph lifted his brow a bit.  
"Oh ha ha, that's funny..", Richard rolled his eyes. We tried our best to reassure Ollie that he wouldn't be all alone with complete strangers, Richard would be there with him after all.  
"I'm not completely sure if that's a good thing or not..", he just shrugged.  
"Hey, I'm just a fine actor, don't worry about it", he laughed.  
"I don't have anything important to do, I work during the afternoon after all, I could come and keep you company if you want to", Christoph promised. That made Ollie to calm down a bit. Richard just grinned widely.  
"Have fun, you crazy boys. I'll stay here, Flake and Paul must be hungry when they come home from work", I laughed.  
And so, the boys got ready to leave.  
"Are you sure it's okay to your boss, Richard?", Christoph asked while putting his hair on a man bun again.  
"It's fine. What I do might be morally questionable, but all the participants are at least 18. I'm mostly just having fun with pretty girls", he promised.  
"I still have a bad feeling about this..", Ollie huffed, though he did admit that it might have been since he himself was quite a shy guy in general.


End file.
